I am  very  passionate of the roles of families in the development of children.

THE BULLY AND BULLIED AT SCHOOLS (Dowen Saga)

What parents can do.
A school provides an atmosphere of learning. However, it comprises children of diverse backgrounds, different orientations and children from unstable homes . School environment being a facilitative place for learning could also expose susceptible children to multiple tensions, which could hinder progress or enhance resilience. Schools are supposedly not places where parents should dump their problematic children despite being open for all to learn.

 

Learning and developmental process of a child can be influenced by the teachers and of course, parents. The best approach for school success is to ensure that parents and teachers work together as friends. On the home side, are all the things you know about your child, the help you give them for homework, and their social development with siblings. On the school side of the line, are all the things your child’s teacher knows about him/her, the help they are getting with their school work, and their social development with peers.

 

The information on both sides can be incorporated to create a fuller perception of your child and help address indication of bullying, if observed. Children change constantly. No matter how well you train your child, there are some extraneous factors that could influence that child negatively or positively. Even as a child grows and develops at every stage, so shall parents nurture and groom that child at every stage.

 

Children who come from vicious unstable homes and broken homes are more likely to bully others because aggression and chaos are modeled for them. Children with permissive or absent parents also may turn to bullying. It gives them a sense of superiority and control, which is lacking in their own life. And kids with low self-esteem may bully as a way to cover for a low sense of self-worth. Bullying is often a learned behaviour. Young bullies might live in homes where grown-ups bully one another to get their way or deal with disagreement. They might not know how else to get their needs met or how to manage discords rather than swooping on the more susceptible children amongst them.

 

Children who are successful, intelligent, creative, determined, introverted, timid, isolated or have distinctive physical appearance are prone to being bullied. While each of these traits may be capitalized on by bullies, they are are not in any way shortcomings. Remember, bullying is about the bully making a wrong choice.
Children who are targeted by a bully often face significant personal impacts. They usually do not tell anyone about the problem. This could be because of distinct reasons such as:
1. Shame and embarrassment.
2. Fear of making it worse.
3. Desire for acceptance.
4. Low self esteem.
5. Parents reactions.

 

There is enormous pressure today for kids to adjust, both academically and socially. Because children hardly tell an adult when they experience bullying, it is vital that parents should be aware of the warning signs. The warning signs could be identified as follows:
1. Unexplainable injuries.
2. Acting contrarily or seeming worried.
3. Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares.
4. Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or feigning illness.
5. Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or splurge eating.
6. Seem moodier or easily upset than usual.
7. Waning grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school.
8. Avoidance of social situations.
9. Feelings of helplessness or diminished self esteem.
10. Self-destructive behaviors such as harming themselves, or talking about suicide.

 

What can Parents do?
Parents need to know their children. They need to be clear on their strengths, and weaknesses. Children are like mirrors they can show you exactly that goes on in them. Some children might not be able to express themselves verbally. They might use nonverbal cues (such as body language, facial expressions) to convey whatever it is that is troubling them. It is up to you, the parent to decipher or unravel such signals.

 

When your children talk, listen actively to whatever they say. Be ready to listen to what they share and keep your own emotions in check. Most times, parents get angry or frustrated with their children but you do not need you to overreact. They want you to listen, reassure, and support them. They need to see you as reliable and strong as well as able to help them in any situation.

 

If your child tells you about being taunted listen calmly and offer solace and support. Children are often reluctant to tell adults about bullying because they feel embarrassed and ashamed that it is happening. They may also worry that their parents would be disappointed, upset, angry, or reactive.
Observe your child critically, do not overlook what happens to your child, do not take for granted his feelings towards anything. Always talk to him/her and initiate conversation of interest with them. Take them to places they like and talk. If you suspect bullying but your child is unwilling to open up, find strategies to bring up the matter.

 

Let your kids know that if they are being bullied or intimidated it is important to talk to someone about it, whether it is you, another adult (a teacher, school counsellor)or sibling. Sometimes children feel like it is their own fault, that if they looked or behaved differently it would not be occurring.

 

Sometimes they are frightened that if the bully finds out that they told, it would get nastier. Others are worried that their parents would not believe them or do anything about it. Or kids worry that their parents will urge them to fight back when they are scared to.
Commend your child for doing the right thing by talking to you about bullying. Let your child understand that it is the bully that is behaving badly not him or her. Your role, reassurance, encouragement will help your child to do the right thing at very difficult situations.

 

Parenthood is all about relating with your child. If you set up a solid foundation and clear and open communication patterns with your child in their early years, you are setting up good practices for the future. Your child should not FEAR but RESPECT you. Be the one, he or she reaches out to when in pain. If your child can not talk to you, look inwards and make amends. Give him/her all the time and attention. Remember your No 1 priority here on earth is to groom these children into healthy adults.
May the soul of dear Slyvester Oromoni rest in peace.

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Comments expressed here do not reflect the opinions of lifeessentialtalk.com.

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  226. Sind solche Belege nicht existieren oder gehen sie verloren, kann als Ersatz ein Eigenbeleg erstellt werden. Zumeist werden Eigenbelege vom Unternehmer selbst oder von leitenden Angestellten ausgestellt, die hierzu bevollmächtigt sind.
    Eigenbelege dienen vorm Finanzamt als Ersatz für Rechnungen oder Quittungen. Hierbei gilt jedoch grundsätzlich
    jeden Beleg aufzubewahren und zeitnah einen Eigenbeleg
    zu erstellen. Sie dokumentieren tatsächlich stattgefundene
    Geschäftsvorgänge und machen diese bei Prüfungen durch die Finanzbehörden, Wirtschaftsprüfer oder die Rechnungsprüfung als Einnahme oder Ausgabe kenntlich.
    Nicht untätig bleiben, wenn Belege fehlen? Das Fehlen von Originalbelegen kann verschiedene Ursachen haben. Der Zahlungsempfänger kann vergessen haben,
    einen Beleg auszustellen, oder hat für den Empfang von Trinkgeld keine Quittung ausgestellt.

    Ist keine dritte Person oder kein drittes Unternehmen an der Transaktion beteiligt, wird nicht immer ein Beleg ausgestellt;
    dabei muss ein Eigenbeleg angefertigt werden, um den Geschäftsvorgang
    zu dokumentieren. Für außerplanmäßige Abschreibungen wie Verderb, Lagerabbau oder
    Diebstahl ist die Erstellung eines Eigenbelegs notwendig.
    Originalbelege können vermisst oder vernichtet worden sein. Schließlich
    hinterlässt kein Dieb eine Quittung. Für
    die Abrechnung von Reisekosten oder Verpflegungsmehraufwendungen (sprich: Spesen) für einen Unternehmer oder Angestellten liegt nicht immer ein Beleg vor.

  227. Hi would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re working with?
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  228. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you
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  231. Gerade in Zeiten von Bank- und Währungskrisen findet das Uhrensammeln deshalb immer mehr Anhänger.

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    Uhren haben eine lange Geschichte: Schon im 3.
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    sogenannte Kerzenuhren. Chr. versuchten Menschen den Tag mit
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