It is a fact that the oldest child in a family gets the worst of us as parents when it comes to disciplining children. This just hit me badly. Beating the first child comes naturally to many parents because we feel it is the right form of punishment and would serve as a deterrent to the other children.
As a mature parent, I have come to realize that generally, corporal punishments such as caning, flogging, beating hitting or spanking (whichever word you wish to use) a child is not the best. It demotivates, rather than motivates the child. For many parents, flogging appears to be the fastest, easiest and most effective way to change a child’s conduct. This often appears to work in the short term. Moreover, patience is a virtue, most parents do not have.
Research has shown that corporal punishment has long-term effects on children. The side effects are numerous but to mention a few, they include:
fear,
long-term aggressive behaviours,
hatred towards the parent or parents,
withdrawal,
the distant parent-child relationship and
depression.
Hitting a child does not entirely stop bad behaviour, it only makes him/her fearful of their parents and teaches them to avoid being caught. When you hit a child you can physically harm that child. unfortunately, some parents accept this as reasonable, despite the risk of physical and emotional harm.
“Harming a child will serve as a reminder for that child to be or do better,” they say. Well, I disagree, I was beaten but it did not make me be or do better. Whoever I am today was a result of the good advice I got from my parents and my self-actualization, not beating. I am certain this applies to many.
However, Some parents say beating (corporal punishment) moulded them into who they are today but the big question is “Who are you today?” The truth is, you might not be who others, would love to emulate or wish to be like, despite your belief of how you are the best version of yourself. Have you ever wondered if another approach would have made you better?
On the other hand, in place of corporal punishments, there are effective alternatives such as:
Time-Out,
Losing privileges,
Kneeling,
Teaching new skills,
Logical consequences,
Natural consequences,
Rewards for good behaviour, and
Praise for good behaviour.
These alternatives to corporal punishment have long-term positive influences.
The home should be a safe abode for your child. Do not make your child miserable with your physical abuse.
The aim of this blog is to address psychological, behavioral and emotional issues that cause family problems. I am also very passionate of the roles of families in the development of children. I am committed to ensuring that children are appropriately conditioned to achieve their full potentials.
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